Parenting Handouts

What a comforting thought to know that Jesus shared our human nature. What a magnificent source of meditation material to reflect on Mary and Joseph as the parents of a bright and active toddler. Who do you think walked the floor with a teething Jesus? Do you imagine Jesus cleaned his plate at every meal and loved any food Mary fixed? Consolation and inspiration may be gained in trying times by knowing that parenting dilemmas are universal. You are not alone, and, best of all, God understands your problems from personal experience!

In today's busy and pressured society, people tend to want things instantly. Parents sometimes lose sight of the fact that children are born totally helpless and must learn every skill needed for survival. This learning takes time, lots of time, and a great deal of patience on the part of parents. Expecting too much too soon can be harmful to children since their performance cannot match expectations, causing their self-esteem to suffer.

Think of human development as a rose blooming. The infant is the totally closed bud with all the potential beauty hidden inside. If you were to tear the bud open, you would destroy that potential. Slow down. Knowing what is appropriate at each stage of development allows parents to enjoy each stage as it unfolds. If taking an adult education course in child development is out of the question, keep a reliable book handy and refer to it often. This is essential.

Just as there is much to understand about human development on the physical and intellectual levels, so must adults be acutely aware of children's spiritual development. Although experiences during the first seven years of a child's life are crucial for later development, the significant religious experiences of this period are not the same as adult religious experiences. Early foundational religious experiences set the tone for future spiritual development. They need to be rooted in the child's concrete experiences using their God-given senses.

Developing an appreciation of themselves as unique and special creations of a loving God is naturally acceptable because young children think they are the center of the universe. Hopefully, if the foundations were well built, as they mature, they will continue to know they are unique and hold a special place in God's plan.

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BUILDING FAITH FOUNDATIONS #2

God's Heaven-Sent Bundle!

by Marilyn Spaw Krock

The first few months of an infant's life are really an adjustment period to life outside the womb. During this time a baby cannot be spoiled. They do not differentiate between themselves and the world around them. Their entire life is spent getting their needs met. Those needs are food, warmth, and love.

Behaviors exhibited at this age are mostly reflex behaviors. The more parents understand their newborn's needs and behaviors, the easier the transition to parenthood will be. Buy a reliable book on infant development and read, read, read.

Personality does play a role from the moment of birth. Three distinct types of children are usually noted by pediatricians - quiet, active, and average. Each type of child exhibits their needs differently. If parents are helped to recognize their baby's personality traits, they can learn effective coping techniques.

Parents, and grandparents, must realize that crying during this period is NORMAL behavior for a baby. Many babies will cry two to three hours out of twenty-four. Crying time peaks around six weeks of age, then declines as the baby gains life experience. It is permissible to allow a baby to cry. If they are fed, clean and dry, and not in physical distress, the best thing to do is wrap them snugly in a receiving blanket, tucking their arms and feet into the fetal position. Swaddling gives the newborn the secure feeling of being back in the womb. In cases where the infant has been overstimulated, a darkened room and soft, low music may help quiet the baby.

Sleeping is another matter of concern. New parents may wonder if they will ever again sleep through the night. The good news is that at around eleven pounds, or about three months, infants somewhat magically learn to do this.

One danger is that parents may not know that infants' normal sleep patterns consist of semi-conscious and semi-alert periods. The baby may fuss slightly and squirm. If left alone the baby will return to a deep sleep pattern. If the parent interferes with the pattern by picking the baby up, the parent will become a necessary part of the pattern of returning to sleep. Learn to wait until lusty cries are heard before responding.

God wants parents to succeed in their role as parents. Study, learn, and work as if everything depends on YOU, but pray as if everything depends on GOD. Start talking to God, out loud, about your fears, your needs, your weaknesses, your joys, your dreams, your hopes for the future. God, and the baby, will enjoy the chat.

Babies need to be talked to if they are to learn language. Get comfortable talking to your baby about God, and include your baby in your prayers to God. When you start early, praying with your child will be natural and comfortable.

Sing to your baby. Music soothes. Make up your own lullabies. Use a melody you are familiar with, then work on your own lyrics. Children love to hear songs about themselves. Include God in your songs, too. Your audience is appreciative.

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BUILDING FAITH FOUNDATIONS #3

Up And Moving, Now The Fun Begins!

by Marilyn Spaw Krock

After six months, infants really come alive! By their first birthday a miraculous transformation takes place. That helpless newborn you so carefully brought home from the hospital suddenly is a rough and tumble toddler!

During this period use of hand coordination improves dramatically. Now infants learn to "let go." This fascinating new ability enables them to play a wonderful game - "hold something out, open your hand, and watch it fall." If parents don't understand that this learning process is necessary for developing hand-eye coordination, they may feel frustrated as "retrievers." Who decides when the game is over? During this time, also, they learn to transfer objects from hand to hand. This dexterity enables them to play with toys more effectively. Didn't God create marvelous creatures when creating human beings?

Be aware that the ability (and desire) to CLIMB develops now, as does the pull-to-standing skill. No telling what they will reach! Putting everything into the mouth is normal activity for this age. Learning through the use of all our God-given senses is part of our nature.

As solids are introduced, a high chair becomes the place to eat meals. Babies may struggle to participate in the feeding process. Keeping hands occupied with utensils or crackers is the best diversion. Finger foods and feeding themselves must be encouraged. Gaining autonomy, independence, is what the developmental process is all about. Mealtime should be a pleasant time, not a battleground. Feeding patterns established now may become problems later. Keep in mind that small stomachs need to eat small amounts, more than three times a day. Not hungry now, try again later.

Bedtime should not become another time to do battle. The time for going to bed IS a parent's decision. This matter should be handled firmly from an early age because this is when discipline patterns are set. Establish bedtimes rituals. Young children are comfortable with routine. Decide about bathing procedures, song or story time, rocking and cuddling time. Start now saying a simple, spontaneous bedtime prayer of thanks to God. Consistency is security to young children.

Trust is the foundational psychological trait that must be developed during the first year of life. Infants decide whether the world is basically good or bad, and whether or not they can trust parents and caregivers, on the basis of how their needs are met. These needs include more than food and cleanliness; also necessary are nurturing items, such as love, caring, touch, comfort, encouragement, stimulation and exploration. Many developmental psychologists indicate that if the trait of trust is not successfully acquired very early, each subsequent developmental task will be detrimentally affected.

In a recent class, it was pointed out that trust in God is the cornerstone of spiritual development, also. Trust is the foundation of hope. Just as infants learn to trust their parents, we need to cultivate trust in God if we are to develop into the fully alive Christians that Jesus calls us to be.

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BUILDING FAITH FOUNDATIONS #4

Toddler's Task-Becoming A Separate Person

by Marilyn Spaw Krock

Once infants have gained the skills necessary to make their needs known, and can get around on their own, they quickly enter the next phase of development - the struggle for AUTONOMY! Sounding impressive, it merely means that children are separating their identity from that of their parents - gaining a sense of independence.

In the year between the first and second birthday, this struggle is very paradoxical. The toddler is caught between a dependency need for parents, fear of separation, and the inborn desire to exert independence. Struggling between these pulls gives adults the impression that toddlers don't know what they want! They don't!

Healthy psychological development mandates that this struggle occur and be successfully accomplished someday. Parents can best assist the process by: being patient; keeping a sense of humor; and allowing the toddler freedom and choice when possible. Allowing for autonomy does not mean the child rules the family. Parents are in charge and set the necessary limits.

Understanding a child's individual temperament, strengths, and weaknesses helps parents establish guidelines for behavior. Overprotection can be as damaging to early development as excessive permissiveness, or neglect. Parents walk a tightrope throughout their careers as parents. Get used to it! There are no easy answers! Do your best. Ask God's help and guidance. Jesus was once a toddler!

Approaching the second birthday, "NO" becomes a prominent part of children's vocabulary. This, too, is part of the struggle for autonomy! Children may not even mean a negative reply but use it as a way of asserting independence. Relax! Ignore!

Avoid asking questions which elicit a yes/no response. Ask "choice" questions instead - "Do you want this or that?" Toddlers feel a sense of control when allowed to make decisions and are more cooperative. Limit choices to two items. Children need practice in making choices. As they get older, they will learn responsibility from living with the consequences of their choices.

Mealtimes are a favorite time to exert independence. Feeding themselves is a skill toddlers must master. Finger foods are easiest, using utensils requires fine motor coordination not yet possessed. Place only a small amount of food on the plate at a time. When child loses interest in eating, STOP. This saves a lot of floor cleanup!

Running skill improves and by two years of age chase is a favorite game. Playing catch and rolling balls back and forth exercises coordination. Under-inflate a large beach ball so the toddler can get a good grip on the ball. They love to toss something big around!

Learning to identify and use body parts can be encouraged through song and dance. Young children love music. Make rhythm instruments from pans and spoons. Seal small objects, rice, or macaroni in plastic bottles for shakers. Use scarfs as streamers when you twirl. Help toddlers FEEL the rhythm of the music. Express gratitude to God for body parts as you sing and dance. It becomes a prayer!

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BUILDING FAITH FOUNDATIONS #5

The Temperamental, Teary, "Trying" Twos

by Marilyn Krock

Although often referred to as the "terrible twos," this period of a child's development is one of the most exciting and rewarding, if you keep a sense of humor!

"Trying twos" is more appropriate because young children between their second and third birthday are expending a lot of energy "trying out" their world. Testing limits, exploring possibilities, and developing a unique personality are all part of God's plan for growth and development. At times, all this excitement can become "trying" for parents as they struggle to keep pace. Hang in there! Take a moment for prayer. God understands the stress!

Now toddlers' brains are in full gear. They seem to have an unquenchable thirst for knowledge. "What's that?" and "Why?" become their favorite expressions. Keep answers as simple and direct as possible. Have them repeat the word back to you for reinforcement. Don't criticize pronunciation at this age because they have not yet mastered all language sounds. Correcting pronunciation constantly can lead to hesitancy in speaking, regression to baby talk, or perhaps stuttering.

As vocabulary increases, toddlers feel more in control of their lives. Gradually, they can be taught words for emotions, then they can express verbally what they are feeling. Being able to verbalize anger, frustration, or jealousy cuts down on tantrums. Lots of patience is required by parents and caregivers to accomplish this growth step.

During this time toilet training usually becomes appropriate. Once children are capable of understanding what is expected of them, training can be accomplished more easily. Reassure them that eating and eliminating are natural processes. God created all living things to function this way. There is nothing "bad" or "dirty" about going to the bathroom. When parents make an issue of toilet training, it becomes a power struggle.

Play is children's work; they gain muscle control from active, outdoor activities, such as running, climbing, and playing ball. During this year children move from parallel play to cooperative play. Role playing fascinates them as they recreate home situations using dolls or stuffed animals for "children." Listen and learn!

Excessive viewing of television hampers proper development of young children. Because of it's passive effect, it drains learning energy, diminishes interpersonal communication, and overstimulates their minds and senses. Parents need to monitor the amount and quality of programs viewed. Scientific evidence indicates that children watching violent shows, even cartoons, exhibit significantly greater aggressive behavior.

At this time in a toddler's life, a sibling may enter the scene! Parents need to be aware that jealousy is natural. Reactions vary depending on the age and temperament of the child; the degree to which the new baby is demanding of attention; and, the caring time parents dedicate to helping adjustment occur. Capitalize on a natural phase that occurs during this period of development when young children want to display their skills by helping. Find simple, but meaningful, tasks that can be successfully accomplished. Point out how nice it is that the child is "big" enough to help. Encourage their interest in being a good "big" brother or sister.

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BUILDING FAITH FOUNDATIONS #6

Thrilling Threes - The World Awaits

by Marilyn Spaw Krock

After discovering that they are separate beings from their parents, young children discover that there is a big, wide, world out there, just waiting to be explored! While remaining basically self-centered in their interest, three year old children are eager to learn. Physical development progresses rapidly, skillful use of body parts improves. They need to stretch and move frequently. Much practice is needed in running, climbing, and playing catch ( large balls). Challenge their skills, but do not push them beyond their capabilities. Expectations that are too high cause frustration, discouragement, and unwillingness to try again. Little hands are eager for action, but tend to be clumsy in tasks requiring fine motor control. Scissors are frustrating, as well as thin crayons (break easily).

Because children at three are eager to please, development of self-esteem can be strongly influenced positively or negatively at this time. Give them the opportunity to do tasks at which they can succeed. Genuine praise for specific accomplishments boosts their self-image and reinforces their desire to help. Refrain from criticism of shortcomings, this negates any good accomplished. Following directions can be difficult for three year olds, so give only one direction at a time. Make directions simple, short, and specific. Wait for that step to be accomplished before proceeding to the next direction. Freedom to achieve a degree of independence is important. Children can take charge of washing, dressing, and feeding themselves. When buying clothes, pick items young children can manage to get into and out of on their own. Elastic waistbands, velcro closures, and a few, simple, front buttons make dressing easier.

Play is a child's work! Through play children learn about the world and other people. At three, children start to enjoy being with other children, but still prefer to play alone (parallel play, not interacting). They should be encouraged to cooperate and share, but emotionally they have not reached that stage of development, yet. They are becoming more sensitive socially, and are sympathetic to the distress of others. These budding feelings need constant nurturing. Children at three act, and react, purely at the feeling level, intellectual processes controlling actions are not yet activated. Patience is required of parents and caregivers to help young children develop needed social skills. Adjust expectations to the reality of their stage of development. Life will go smoother!

Marked growth occurs in language development. Practice in conversational skills is important. TURN OFF THE TELEVISION! Mealtime is an essential time for encouraging family conversations. Devote some time and attention to listening to young children's ideas and questions. The attention span of a three year old is extremely limited, so do not require them to linger over dinner conversation. Allow them to be excused, then adult conversation can continue.

Where is God in this picture? Everywhere! Young children are sensitive to the spiritual, especially as evidenced in the home! They delight in creating their own prayers to a loving God. They experience God's love through the human love. Helping them discover that God made them and loves them IS religion at a three year old child's level!

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BUILDING FAITH FOUNDATIONS #7

Fascinating Fours - The World Is Theirs!

by Marilyn Spaw Krock

ACTION is the key word for four year olds! Their bodies are under better control. Besides running, they can hop, skip, jump, gallop, and kick! All their enthusiastic energy tends to get out of control occasionally! Motivation to sit still for any length of time must be very strong. Their muscles seem to demand activity. Manipulative materials requiring fine motor control of fingers capture their attention, for a while. Racing around on wheeled vehicles is more to their liking!

Brashly confident of their abilities, children at this age will take on any challenge! They can work cooperatively in small groups to accomplish projects requiring additional assistance. In fact, they crave the companionship of other children and usually radiate good fellowship. They are less sensitive and demanding than previously, exhibiting the beginnings of a sense of humor which needs encouragement.

Vocabulary doubles by age four. Imagination develops and children create fantastic stories. Make-believe play, dress-up, and costumes stimulate and nurture development of imagination. Fairy tales, space adventures, and superheroes capture the attention of this age group. Reality and fantasy are intertwined! Because of the natural progression through this stage of fantasy, religious education is a delicate matter.

Introducing Bible stories at this time will capture their imagination, but may later be relegated to the category of fairy tales and left behind with the toys of childhood. If the God children are introduced to at this age is a judgmental, frightening, or vengeful God, their relationship with God will be affected throughout their lives. It is impossible to develop a loving, trusting relationship with someone you fear, someone waiting to punish you for every misdeed, someone who is keeping score for the "Last Judgment".

Young children are beginning to understand God's love through the love they experience from other people. Realizing how special God created each one of them, how unique they are in all the world, is essential. Four year olds are great at asking questions. When these questions are about God, answers should be truthful, simple. God created us and the world in which we live. All God asks is that we love one another, take care of our world, and express our gratitude and love of God through prayer and actions. Four year olds are beginning to understand that prayer is talking to God. It is most beneficial if they learn to use their own words.

Watch out for traps in giving answers to children. Remember they are still only able to think concretely. It is permissible to tell children that some things cannot be explained. There are many things which we do not understand, but we believe. That is what faith is all about.

For young children it is best to concentrate on reality as they experience it. Four year olds are "into" doing things for others. As part of God's family we can help each other in many ways. Provide opportunities for them to do acts of kindness. Being recognized for doing such acts boosts self-esteem and helps establish patterns for life. Doing good out of love for a loving God ranks higher on the scale of moral development than being motivated by fear of punishment! Where do you stand?

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BUILDING FAITH FOUNDATIONS #8

Fun-Loving Fives - The World Is A Social Place

by Marilyn Spaw Krock

No longer feeling that they are the center of the world, five year old children want a place in the world of people. Social conscience is developing. They enjoy working in group situations. Eager to please parents and teachers, they require an abundance of affirmation and undivided attention. They want to do what others do and engage in imitative behavior.

Physically they have gained more motor control and demonstrate increased competence in taking care of themselves. Pride in their accomplishments includes not only dressing themselves, but also choosing their own clothes!

Their sense of humor now includes jokes and tricks which they delight in sharing with others. Actively seeking affection from both adults and other children, five year olds need freedom in choosing friends. Comparing one child to another damages self-esteem; they need to be accepted and loved for who they are, not what they do. This forms the basis of unconditional love. During the early years children must experience this kind of love, if they are to develop healthy personalities. Practice unconditional love early; avoid many problems during adolescence.

With a vocabulary of nearly five thousand words, five year olds are very verbal. They enjoy telling stories that seem to go on forever. Be patient! They are exercising their mental capacities. Ideas now take on deeper meanings. The world of symbolic thought is beginning to be explored. Abstract concepts are just beginning to enter their field of thought, although explanations are still beyond their understanding.

Ability to follow directions improves, but must still be kept simple and to a minimum. Attention span increases and children can now listen attentively to longer stories. They enjoy exchanging ideas with one another, teachers, and parents.

Curiosity about the world and eagerness to learn make this an exciting time. Proper nurturing of these traits can set learning patterns for life. This is a wonderful time to explore the resources of the public library. When television time is earned, direct their interest to programs with educational content and watch them together so discussion can follow. Use "Parental Discretion" about appropriate television shows, movies, and videos. Young children absorb everything they watch as "absolute truth."

While intellectual capacities are increasing, religious awareness remains basically a concrete experience. Five year olds should be developing a stronger sense of personal worth and ability. They can understand that God created them and loves them very deeply. Slowly they can come to realize that God wants their love in return and cares about their everyday experiences. This realization forms the basis for development of a prayer life. Young children should be encouraged to verbalize their own simple prayers. Memorizing formal prayers is possible, but religious meanings are often beyond their understanding. Let them pray in their words!

Experience in a church Sunday school program helps young children associate God with positive, joyful occasions and celebrations throughout the year. Sunday means coming together with your "Church family" to celebrate God's love for all of us. Preschoolers need meaningful, age-appropriate celebrations in which they can participate, not just observe, if they are to feel part of a loving faith community.

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BUILDING FAITH FOUNDATIONS #9

Lord That I Might See!

By Marilyn Spaw Krock

You are a unique and unrepeatable image of God! Do you "see" yourself in this way? Children are fascinated with their ability to "see" so many things. God's gift of sight is a wonder. A parent's task is to encourage children to "see" more deeply, to "observe" the world in which we live.

Eyes, all colors and shapes, are one of God's gifts we tend to take for granted until a problem arises with our vision. If we think modern cameras are terrific, how much more so is the human eye. It adjusts to brightness and darkness, automatically focuses for closeness and distance. The sensitivity with which our eyes perceive colors, shades, tints, and hues is miraculous. Think how much there is to thank God for as we explore our eyes.

Young children love to learn about themselves and how their bodies function. Give a child a small mirror. Have them close their eyes for a few seconds. When opening their eyes have them watch in the mirror as the pupil of the eye constricts. Make them aware that in darkness the pupil opens wide to let in as much light as possible, but in bright light the pupil closes down to keep the light from damaging the other parts of the eye. Remind children that we must take care of the eyes God gave us so they don't get damaged. Don't look directly at the sun. Be careful not to throw anything in other children's eyes when playing. Get plenty of sleep because your eyes need to rest.

A deeper dimension of sight involves the development of imagination and abstract thinking. This enables us to "see things" differently. Some people have creative genius for new ideas and problem solving. This ability must be nurtured from early childhood. Children need to be guided into looking at things from many angles. A good exercise is watching clouds go by and describing shapes of things you see. This becomes an entertaining game with children, but while they are "playing" they are developing imaginative skills that will help them become creative thinkers as they mature. Similar activities can be done with shadows, shapes of trees and plants, and designs made with circles, squares, and rectangles.

Becoming "observers" of the world helps children become more sensitive to other people and the world in which they live. As they are taught to"see" what is happening, they will struggle to understand by asking many questions. Be patient with little ones. There is so much they need to learn! Next time you read in Scripture about Jesus healing the blind, remember it was more than physical blindness He came to cure. Jesus came to teach us a whole new way to look at life!

Parents sometimes need to be reminded to "see" their children as persons. Often they are not treated with respect. Bumper stickers proclaim "Have you hugged your pet today?" Many times pets are treated with more respect than children. Listen to the way people talk to their pets. When speaking to a child, ask yourself if you would say these things, or use this tone of voice, when speaking to a friend, or even a pet! If members of a household treat each other as friends, home could become the sanctuary from the struggles of everyday life that God intends. Children suffer stress, too. Everyone needs a place to be appreciated, nurtured, and refreshed!

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BUILDING FAITH FOUNDATIONS #10

Taste and See the Goodness of the Lord

by Marilyn Spaw Krock

Crunch into a juicy red apple! Savor a glass of cold milk with a chocolate chip cookie warm from the oven! Refresh yourself with icy lemonade on a sweltering day! Thank you God for the ability to enjoy the variety of flavors in life! Do we slow down occasionally during a hectic day and appreciate the taste of the food we put in our mouths? Do we thank God not only for the food, but also for our mouth, teeth, tongue, and throat that enable us to eat?

In designing the human body, God gifted us with a discerning palate. We do not eat simply to sustain our body, but take delight in the many flavors. Children need to experience a variety of foods and flavors to fully appreciate God's gift of taste. Many things may look alike but taste very different. Children can be shown this by playing taste games. Salt and sugar look alike, but must be tasted to tell the difference. Place a little flour, corn starch, and powdered sugar on plates. Mix weak solutions of sugar water, salt water, and white vinegar water. Let the child dip in a finger and taste, telling you sweet, sour, salty. Potato, apple, pear, and turnip all look very similar when peeled and diced. Which is which?

Children love to help in the kitchen. Find small jobs that they can do. Let them taste ingredients when you are cooking. Through their mouths they are learning about the world. "Crawlers" put everything they find into their mouths because they have to know what it tastes like. Sensory experience is the best way of learning. The more senses involved the better!

Mouths are also used for talking and singing. Thank you God for children's voices, their songs are beautiful! Music should be part of every child's life, everyday! They love to sing and listen to songs. Through music they learn faster and remember longer. Teach them the songs of your childhood. Make up simple songs to melodies that are familiar. Sing with your child (they don't know if you are "off key"). Let them make up verses, it develops language skills.

God gave us our voices to communicate. We should use them to speak nicely to each other. Children learn by example. Language heard at home is invariably echoed by children at play. Parents are looked up to. What adults do is "right." The worst danger of inappropriate television shows and movies is example. Is imitation really the highest form of flattery?

Communicating with children can be an interesting experience. A few guidelines can make the process more enjoyable. First, think about your size as compared with the child. It's easier to talk with someone when you can look them in the eye. Think about the words you are using. Does the child understand what it is you are saying. Keep in mind their vocabulary is limited. They take everything quite literally. Ask them to explain what you said. If they can't, it isn't because they weren't listening, it just "did not compute." Take time to be sure you are understood. Take nothing for granted! Spell out every detail. Leave nothing vague. "Clean your room" can have many different connotations! Make a list of your expectations!

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BUILDING FAITH FOUNDATIONS #11

Enjoying the Nostalgic Aromas of Life

by Marilyn Spaw Krock

Breathe deeply. What do you smell? Close your eyes and think about one particular scent that is especially memorable. Perhaps it is something cooking, a perfume, a flower, the smell of the forest after a summer rain, a certain person. Chances are excellent that it is a memory from your childhood.

Scientists are discovering areas of the brain which store sensory experiences from earliest childhood and indelibly imprint them in our memory. These memories lie dormant until triggered by a present day experience. God's gift of smell is a potent trigger of these stored memories. Have you ever smelled something that released a flood of memories?

Sensitivity to smells, and appreciation of the ability to differentiate between odors, is another facet of developing children who are "tuned in" to the world. Sometimes it isn't until we have a cold and can't breathe through our nose that we realize how important this gift really is. Even our appetite is affected when we can't smell the aroma of the food we are eating.

Infants have from birth a highly developed sense of smell. Research shows that they are able to differentiate between their mother's milk and any other woman's milk. They know the smell of their caregivers. One reason they get fussy when parents are going out can be attributed to the change of odor as parents apply cologne. This triggers alarm in the infant. If mother wears a little fragrance daily, she can apply some to the infant's blanket when leaving. This scent will comfort the baby as it senses the odor of mother. Perhaps your mother still wears the same scent she has for years. Do you get a sense of security when you smell the fragrance? Does her house have an aroma that says HOME? Create memories for your children with the aromas of your home.

Children find it fascinating that they can be tricked by this simple experiment. Have them close their eyes. Hold a piece of apple under their nose, while giving them a bite of raw potato. They will think they are eating apple! It confuses our senses when they receive mixed signals. Go on "smelling" walks. Stop and smell the grass, various flowers, different kinds of plants and trees, even dirt has a smell. Then stop and thank God for all the things you can smell. This is another way of making children sensitive to their environment.

They will ask you about the things they smell, and all the odors may not be pleasant. Try to explain things to them as part of their learning experience. Even air pollution can be discussed, along with what we can do to help keep our air clean. We need to take care of our bodies and our world, they are gifts from God!

A very useful parenting tool that involves the use of your nose is the "Jesus Prayer." Several times a day take time to stop, close your eyes, and breathe deeply about five times. As you inhale pray "Je-", as you exhale pray "-sus." The action has a calming effect, the added oxygen to your brain stimulates thought, and the prayer

you are whispering draws you closer to God.

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BUILDING FAITH FOUNDATIONS #12

Early Childhood Years - No Sound of Silence!

by Marilyn Spaw Krock

Is silence golden? Most parents would agree that it is definitely very precious! For young children sounds are just one more way of learning about the world! To children "noise" is precious! Maybe parents and children need to work out a compromise!

God gave us ears so we could enjoy life more fully. Studies show that infants still in the womb are highly sensitive to sound. They have a startle response to loud or harsh sounds, and can be calmed by their mother's voice or soft music. After birth, as they develop the ability to control the sounds they make, infants start trying to communicate. Parents need to talk to their infants because it is through hearing spoken language that the child learns to speak. Reading to young children is also of extreme importance if they are to acquire language and vocabulary skills.

In early childhood classrooms guessing games are played with sounds to enable children to recognize and identify various noises. At home parents can do this by having the child listen intently and name the sounds that can be heard. Thanking God for the sounds of birds, bells, music, animals, etc., follows naturally.

If no sounds are heard, thank God for the quiet times, too. Talk to the child about how nice it is to be quiet sometimes, just to relax and daydream. It is in quiet moments that we can gather our thoughts and exercise our imagination. A child does not do this naturally. Times of quiet must be set aside to encourage the inner development of the child. Prayer is talking to God. Children cannot develop this ability if they do not learn to take time to be quiet. As adults, how often have we been told to listen for God's voice speaking in our hearts. How much time do we spend listening?

Radios, stereos, and televisions follow us everywhere we go! Try to establish a quiet time in your home in the evening and you will find life much calmer. Noise excites children, makes them active. If bedtime is a problem, don't turn on the TV after dinner. Play a quiet game with the child, read a couple of books together, play soft, relaxing music. Bore them to bed! They'll see they aren't "missing" anything exciting!

Say bedtime prayers together, talk about the child's day, thank God for the good things, ask God to help with the problems, and then teach them to relax in God's love. Trace a cross on the child's forehead and bless them. The comforting sound of your voice and thoughts of God's love will repeat in the child's mind throughout the night.

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BUILDING FAITH FOUNDATIONS #13

Touch Me, Lord, and I Shall be Healed!

by Marilyn Spaw Krock

Much consolation can be given by a hug, a pat on the back, or an arm around a shoulder. Human beings need physical contact with one another, God planned it that way. Studies point out that infants in institutions who are deprived of human touch will die, even though fed and tended. Children need to touch, and be touched. The sense of touch is another of God's wonderful gifts. Children often hear, "Don't touch that!" Their innate curiosity and need to learn about everything around them draws them to want to touch things. Channel their curiosity in acceptable ways. Give them lots of things with various textures that they can touch. Put away things that cannot be touched until the child is old enough to overcome their inborn curiosity.

Let children experience touch with their feet, as well as their hands. Test the warmth and coolness of various surfaces, such as carpet, cement, linoleum, wood, where the sun is beating down and in the shade. If you are brave, mix up some mud in a large pan and let them "goosh" their feet in it, maybe even make mud footprints on a large sheet of shelf paper. For the more timid, finger painting exercises the child's sense of touch. Adding a little sand, or cornmeal, gives finger paint a different texture to feel. Finger painting with pudding involves the senses of taste and smell also! Working with play dough is another good tactile experience. It is easy to make at home and you can add extracts to give it a scent. Edible play dough, made from peanut butter, honey, and powdered milk can be an experience involving many senses, plus it's nutritious!

Scraps of fabric or discarded shoulder pads of various fabrics are excellent ways to let young children develop their sense of touch. Help them by naming the colors and feel (soft, smooth, rough, silky), it builds vocabulary and understanding. By stapling together a few sheets of paper, you can help them create a touch book of their very own. You can glue on leaves, sandpaper, plastic, wax paper. Let your imagination loose!

While you are helping your child explore God's gift of touch, don't forget to touch your child. A pat on the head, a hug, a kiss, holding hands, taking time to sit together and talk, all build a bond of closeness that will last. God made us to love one another and an important part of that love is physical expression, for all people, not just children. The most valuable five minutes of a parent's day could very well be the five minutes before their child goes to sleep at night. With everyone having busy schedules, there is a lot of talk about spending "quality" time with your child. The problem with this is that when you have the time, your child may not be interested in interacting with you. If you give each child a five minute back rub at bedtime your relationship will be enhanced. This is the perfect bribe to get them into bed on time. Then you can talk about their day. Say a prayer for specific intentions. Sing some bedtime songs. If the pattern is established early, as they get older, it becomes a time when they let down their guard and share their feelings with you. Communication must be built from early years. You cannot suddenly expect teenagers to talk to you if you haven't spent time talking to them all along. Trust and confidence are developed.

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